Satisfaction Is When...

1. Baby Garreth flashes his million-dollar smile when you approached him in the morning when he wakes up without having to call out his name...

2. You see his "kway bong" (fat thigh) is growing at an alarming speed (haha..)...

3. He coos and ahhs at you, communicating to you as though he understands what you're saying...

4. He self-entertains himself knowing that you're busy with other work at home...

5. He prefers the playpen than the yaolan...

6. He finishes his milk and gives you the "satisfaction" grin...

7. He grabs your fingers while taking his milk...

8. He lies comfortably in your chest when you're burping him..

9. He recognises you're his mummy when you call out to him..

10. Everyone says that he looks more like the mummy than the daddy (wahahah...).

See...aren't these 10 reasons not enough to let me quit my job, stay at home and look after Baby Garreth??? *wink*

Home Alone

My mum has been sick since yesterday and I'm home alone with Baby Garreth. So far, he has been an angel, perhaps he knows that I'm going back to work soon so he is behaving himself so that I don't have to worry about him when my mum takes care of him.

Just checked the company's email and realised that my Marketing Exec has been promoted to Snr Marketing Exec. I'm not surprised cos' frankly speaking she's hardworking, and also for the fact that she's pretty close with one of the Snr Sales Managers who carries alot of weight in the company. He could have spoken good words of her in front of the MD so promotion for her came easier than usual. Sigh..I don't fancy for a promotion (don't think got a single chance too!), hoping to get a new job instead that doesn't have company politics and pays me well. I need the extra moolahs to feed my baby, diapers and formula milk not cheap leh!

Aye..such a headache..haven't got a decent piece of clothes for CNY yet. All those which I have bought are all dull colours (I like!) and not suitable, more for office...and time is running out soon, cos' going back to work this Friday. Supposed to go for my haircut today, but cos' mum is sick, so I postponed to tmr..hopefully mum recovers by then. Perhaps after the haircut will go for a brief shopping spree, see if possible to grab something reddish or pinkish to wear on the first two days of CNY!

Gotta go...Baby Garreth is awake liao!

Handphone No Ring!

So sad, have been applying for jobs lately but no company actually call me up for an interview! Seems like I have to stay on to this sickening company for a while before I can throw the letter to the boss. Sigh..talking about her, I'm so freaking pissed that she passed a comment to my close colleague that I have not been reading and replying emails since day one of my maternity leave.

Oh, come on man, as it's stated, it's Maternity Leave, I'm not obliged to do any work concerning the company. I have already handed over my work rightfully, so she can't simply assume that I will have the time to take care of my baby and juggle with work at the same time! She can do so cos' she has her mum and dad to help out, but for me, my mum only comes half a day, sometimes she don't even drop by cos she's busy. And Garreth Boy isn't the easiest baby to care for, so if he doesn't sleep during the day, I will not be able to other things.

Anyway, am getting kinda emotional today. Was singing the Elmo song (he loves it!) and talking to him earlier and he was all smiles and giggles all throughout. Seeing him smile melts my heart and the thought that I won't be able to do these often with him (only weekends) saddens me and tears start rolling down my cheeks. I am proud that all these while taking care of him, I have more or less know all his "patterns" and are able to differentiate his various types of cries and soothe him accordingly. Realised that my mum is still not able to do so, all she does is to dump him in the yaolan when he fusses and waste her time sitting beside it rocking him when he doesn't seem to be able to sleep long in the yaolan at all. Sigh..guess she has to work harder to know him better...

It's A BOY!

Nothing could contain my joy for the sister as it was confirmed yesterday that she's carrying a BOY this time round! Woohoo!

Garreth boy is gonna have a dee dee (little brother) to play with soon! And his clothes can actually pass down to dee dee too! I was still a little worried cos' Baby Garreth has already outgrown some clothes which me and the sister have bought for him earlier, some were only worn less than 5 times (cos' we hardly bring him out) while some still in pretty good condition though (and branded too!). Goody good! I'm so happy about this piece of good news that I keep telling Baby Garreth about it..haha!

And well, the sister's $30K "bonus" from her MIL is secured! Good for her! Bet she's now the favourite daughter-in-law liao! Haha...

How I wish my MIL is that generous too...aye..else I would have already pocketed the $30K and need not worry about going back to work next week... *pout*

Now, I just wish that I could have a daughter next..not so soon lah..but my colleague told me that I must think hard for one so that I can really get a daughter the next round. Not sure if it will work, but no harm trying lah.

I WANT A GAL! I WANT A GAL! I WANT A GAL!

Clumsy Me

So pissed off, to think that I've spoilt my favourite camera with my own clumsiness!

It was that fateful day when my mum decides that she will take over and bathe baby garreth in the evening (instead of me bathing him). So while she lays the boy naked in the tub, I rushed to grab my camera which I placed on the dinning chair, hoping to take some nude pics of him. It was a bloody bad move cos' I think I was so freaking clumsy that I went banging the camera against the one of the legs of the dinning table. There goes the LCD screen as it went bizzare from the huge impact and I can't view anything anymore. Sigh..stupid me...

Hubby Goh has since sent the camera for servicing and he estimated that the repair will cost a good $100+. Shucks...heartpain..but I guess it's a good lesson to learn that I shouldn't rush into things in future. Hubby suggested getting a new camera for me as Valentine's Day gift but I don't see the need, would rather just spend $100+ for the repair than a couple more hundreds for a new piece. Anyway, the fujifilm has been serving me pretty well and I'm quite pleased with the pics I've took of Baby Garreth so far.

Sigh..another few more days and I'll be back to work. Starting to dread the thought of not being able to be by Garreth boy's side during the day, gonna miss talking and singing to him, coo-ing him to sleep, his smell and of cos' holding him close to me. Mummy teased that I should bring a set of his used clothes to work so that whenever I think of him, I can bring out the clothes and sniff his smell...haha..she's right, maybe I should do that. Now my only worry is whether my mum is able to cope taking care of him alone at my place. Garreth boy is not the easiest baby to handle I would say and depending on his mood, he can sometimes fuss during the day too. Just afraid that mum will have to be confined next to the yaolan and can't do anything if he's into one of his moods. Now contemplating to get a second hand electric yaolan from the auction site, that way, can lighten my mum's workload, she can at least be freed to take some rest while the electric yaolan does the job of rocking Garreth boy to sleep. Anyone got cheap lobangs? Let me know k?

My Poor Boy

Brought Baby Garreth back to the PD again yesterday cos' his phlegm and cough condition did not improve after 3 days and have been coughing really badly in the night. It pains me to see him coughing so hard, especially in the night, and I could't do anything but just to hold him close my chest and pat him on the back to soothe him...there was one night where he coughed really badly and I felt so heartache that I held him and cried in the middle of the night. He is so tiny and yet he already has to suffer all these illness. The PD diagnosed him as having sensitive nose (inherited from me!) or a mild case of flu. I'm quite confused if these are the two possibilities cos' if it's sensitive nose, would it have led to so much phlegm in his throat? We haven't been really bringing out, how would he get flu? Unless to say that he got infected when Megen jie jie was having a bad cough sometime back, or was it my brother in law who passed him the virus when he came to pick up my sis after visiting the doc to get his half-day MC for his flu? Sigh...I really don't know.

Anyway, this time the PD prescribed him with a course of antibiotics. If it wasn't him coughing so badly, I wouldn't have wanted to give him antibiotics, afterall he's still a newborn, only 2 months+. He was pretty ok last night, with no cough after milk, but this morning when he finished his feed, he started to cough really badly and it felt so upsetting again. Going to monitor his condition these two days, if things are not getting any better, will have to seek second opinion from another PD liao. Aye..it's a good thing that Hubby Goh can claim all these expenses, else really shiong ah..

Sometimes I really wonder if it's really my fault for stop breastfeeding, cos' they always claim that breastmilk is a good source of antibodies and babies will not fall sick easily. My parents also claimed that milk powder generates phlegm in a baby, so maybe that's why he's having so much phlegm also....gosh...is it really all my fault??

So sad.

2nd Shopping Spree

I slipped out of the house again for another shopping spree (what else!) last Friday as I need to get a birthday pressie for baby Yun Ting (ok, it's juz an excuse..hee!).

Was on the bus heading to Orchard when the sister called and said that she's heading to TPY and can't meet me, so I decided to make Suntec my first stop as Fox and Baby Gap are having sales.

Grave Mistake!

Of all the people, I bumped into my bastard ex while on the way to Fox. Damn it! Actually I have already spotted him from a distant but there was no alternative route to divert so hastened my pace praying hard that he won't see me. BUT...he did. And bloody hell called out my name so freaking loud that I have no choice but to turn around and acknowledge him.

It was pretty awkard seeing him again. He still looked pretty much the same except that he has aged and still ever so thin and more hunched-back. He asked if my office is in suntec, I said no, I'm not working today. He probed why and I told him that I'm on maternity leave. He went on to ask how old's my baby now and I said 2 months and he added that his kid is already four year old. Geesh..as if I care?

Then he asked if I have a namecard with me. Of cos' I do...but I didn't wanna give so I said NO. He went on to ask if my mobile phone number has changed and recited my old number. I was stunned (that he could still remember!) and told him that I have a new number now and brushed him off that I need to go and told him to take care. Before I could go, he reminded me of his email addresses (hotmail, gmail..) and told me to email him to keep in touch. Hah...very funny, what's the point to keep in contact, he's already out of my mind and out of my sight since the day we parted, so why bother??

I know I was rude, but I dun care. The sight of him irks me and those bad memories started to playback in my mind and affected my shopping mood. How he used to break my heart cheating behind my back, how he fought with me over small issues, how bad tempered he was......and more.. But boy I'm so glad that it's all over now and I have a loving hubby who is a 100% total different person from that stupid bastard. And of cos' the father of my cute and adorable baby boy. Immediately when I stepped into Fox boutique, I took out my mobile phone and started to sms Hubby Goh, telling him that I met my ex and I felt so happy that I'm out of all those shit and really glad that I have made the right choice to marry him. Hee...

Anyway, the 2nd shopping spree wasn't as fruitful as the 1st. Only managed to get 2 pcs of clothes for my darling Baby Garreth, 2 tops for myself, an electric kettle, and of cos' the birthday pressie.

Let me see..when should I schedule the 3rd shopping spree again?? Hopefully this time I won't get to meet any ex on the street again...*bleh*

Hiak hiak hiak!

Shopping Keeps Me Sane

Oh, before I forgot, would like to congrat SY for getting a new job in such a short span of time! Way to go babe! Hope this job is what you have been looking for and good luck!

Wanted to blog this earlier but somehow has been too busy with the baby and house chores. Now Garreth is still asleep, so I stole some time to sit down and update before WW4 starts again.

It was great taking a breather on Tuesday going shopping with the preggy sister in town. We met as early as 11.30am as the sister has to be home before 3pm to fetch little megen home from school. I went super crazy, going in and out of every shop in Wisma and Ngee Ann City..it's been a while that I have gone shopping frenzy and it seems like I have missed out alot during my confinement days as numerous shops were gone and new ones were replaced. Within 2.5 hours, I managed to get a top and 2 bottoms from G2000 which were on 40% discount (sweet!) and a pair of C&K Shoes. After sis left, I went on to venture CK Tang and bought and pampered myself a super glam DKNY watch (with swaroski crystals). It's not cheap but after deducting my credit card points and using some vouchers, I had to fork out another $170 for it. Ok lah, afterall I didn't spend much last month, so just take it as an expense I used last month lor. Far East Square was the last stop and again, I bought another pair of shoes and sandals (can't resist!) and a top too. Wanted to venture more but Hubby Goh called and "spot-checked" so I was guilt-strickened and got into a cab and headed home instead. *bleh*

Mum was very encouraging on the other hand. When I got home, she remarked that if I wanna do more shopping, better do it before I returned to work, she can help to take care of Baby Garreth while I'm away. Hehe..see how dear my mum is? I will see how and maybe will do another shopping spree tomorrow cos' gotta grab a birthday pressie for a kid's party on Saturday which Hubby Goh only told me last night!

Yeah...I love shopping!

I'm Cruel

Just had a fight with Baby Garreth earlier and I felt so guilty about it. This boy's night routine has suddenly gone for a change, he used to be able to sleep at 6-ish and then wake up at 9-ish for his next feed before knocking out till about 12 or even 1am. Now, he will want to have his milk at 7pm and even though he displays tiredness and we will try to put him to sleep, he will refuse to just close his eyes and go to sleep till past 9pm. This has been going on for the past 1 week, usually Hubby Goh and I will take turns to have our dinner and then try to coax him to sleep, he is the one who will successfully make him sleep using his rocking and humming (of Lullaby) strategies. For me, I would resort to putting him on the playpen tummy down and then pat him on his little butt and hum Lullaby, it works well on some nights but somehow the technique backfired tonight.

Today, he got his milk at 7pm as usual. Cos Hubby went to dabao dinner, I tried to pat Garreth boy in the playpen, hoping that he can nap for a while so that me and Hubby can enjoy our dinner together when the food comes. As expected, the naughty boy didn't wanna sleep, so Hubby told me to eat the dinner first while he take care of the boy and I will come take over when I'm done if he's still not asleep. True enough, when I'm done with the dinner, the boy still doesn't wanna sleep and keep fussing. I took over and tried all ways and means to calm the boy down but it didn't help and he started to wail loudly as if I've tortured him. Upon hearing his cries, Hubby Goh rushed to the room, wanting to carry and rock the boy in his arms, but I refused as I didn't want Baby Garreth to associate his bedtime to "someone" will carry and rock him in his arms till he fall asleep. I perservered on, putting up with his loud and clear cries, refusing to walk around in the room, rocking him to sleep. I alternate putting him in the playpen patting him to sleep and carry him in my arms, sitting on my bed and pat him on the butt, but he was still dissatisfied and keep on crying non-stop. Many a times, Hubby Goh got heart-broken hearing his cries and came creeping in to the room to his rescue but I just refused to give in. I know it's cruel, but I don't wish the baby to develop the bad habit to only able to sleep with someone rocking him. It's quite strenuous now to carry and pat him at the same time (he's hitting 6kg soon!), and it's gonna be worst as he grows. What's gonna happen when my Mum takes over the role to look after him? I would not want her to carry him every night, it's far too shiong for her...

Anyway, I lost the fight eventually cos' I succumbed to his cries Daddy took over. Magically, with the loving cradle of the Daddy and his humming of Lullaby, he soon fell asleep in his arms within 10mins and is now sleeping soundly in his playpen. *Faint* I seriously have no clue as to how to alter this bad habit of his. Mum said this is just a passing phase and everything will be stabilised when he turns 4th month. Gosh...4th month?? He only turned 7 weeks yesterday...means another 2 more months to go?? I'm not sure if my patience can last that long...aye!

And I think I just got my retribution for being so cruel. Was trying to open the bottle of ampoule to apply my face after a shower but the stupid glass cap suddenly broke and cut my fingers. The right thumb has got 2 deep cuts and bled profusely while the index finger has a slight cut. Now the fingers are bandaged and I dunno if I can handle the boy alone tomorrow cos' mum's not able to come...

Sigh..talk about bring cruel to the little boy...

No More Moo Moo Cow

Have finally made the painful decision to stop expressing breastmilk for Baby Garreth yesterday. Supply has been low as I didn't have the time to pump and also for the fact that my milk quality has deteriorated; there has been more foremilk then hindmilk, so no wonder the boy is always not full after a feed and demands for more milk more often. It's kinda sad that I can't provide the best for him, but as what the sister said, although it's healthier to give breastmilk than formula milk, still it doesn't mean that babies drinking formula milk are not healthy. And most important of all, happy mummy = happy baby, so I would not want to fuss or stress over no supply of breastmilk for my son. I'm happy that now that I could spend the pumping milk time on some other stuff, rather than fret and keep squeezing my two breasts for more milk and more milk.

Mum has been a great help so far. She has started to come over my place to helpout in the afternoon after she has cooked lunch for me. But usually I will keep the food for dinner instead so that Hubby Goh and I no need to scratch our heads to think what to dabao everytime. Feel kinda guilty for making mum so busy, she not only has to cook for us, she also has to take the bus and bring it over to my place as soon as she's done. Then once here, she will try her best to free me from taking care of Garreth boy so that I can catch some rest/nap for the "duty" at night. It's such a good fortune that I have such a GREAT mum! Btw, mum said that once I'm back to work (which is pretty soon, 1 Feb), she will consider bunking over at my place to help take care of Baby Garreth so that we don't have to lug him here and there or buy extra sets of his stuff to her place which is a total waste of money. How nice..in fact, I have been secretly praying that she will come stay with us if situation allows (no need to keep on putting up with my dad's stupiak temperament) and well, my prayer is answered!

Little Megen is put under her mummy's care now and poor gal has been sobbing at night cos' she misses granny (and sleeping with granny). Mum can't bear to let her go too, afterall she has been looking after her for 5 years, but no choice lor, she has another grandchild who needs her attention more than Megen. Now we are all wondering when sis gives birth, who's gonna help her take care of the baby since mine will only be 8 months old by then. Geesh..nobody dares to think about it...YET.

Gosh, it's been about nearing 3 weeks that I do not get a full night's sleep. Baby Garreth wakes up about once or twice for his feeds and usually I'm the one doing the "duty" as Hubby Goh has to work the next day. But he has been sweet too, volunteering to feed him on certain nights when he sees me so worn out. We have thought of a strategy to eliminate the night feeds for the boy, but we can only embark on the "project" when he turns 2 months or so. Aye..let's juz hope we have the heart to do it and if so, it will be successful.

Alright, gotta go..he's awake and wailing for his milk now...till then.