I'm Cruel

Just had a fight with Baby Garreth earlier and I felt so guilty about it. This boy's night routine has suddenly gone for a change, he used to be able to sleep at 6-ish and then wake up at 9-ish for his next feed before knocking out till about 12 or even 1am. Now, he will want to have his milk at 7pm and even though he displays tiredness and we will try to put him to sleep, he will refuse to just close his eyes and go to sleep till past 9pm. This has been going on for the past 1 week, usually Hubby Goh and I will take turns to have our dinner and then try to coax him to sleep, he is the one who will successfully make him sleep using his rocking and humming (of Lullaby) strategies. For me, I would resort to putting him on the playpen tummy down and then pat him on his little butt and hum Lullaby, it works well on some nights but somehow the technique backfired tonight.

Today, he got his milk at 7pm as usual. Cos Hubby went to dabao dinner, I tried to pat Garreth boy in the playpen, hoping that he can nap for a while so that me and Hubby can enjoy our dinner together when the food comes. As expected, the naughty boy didn't wanna sleep, so Hubby told me to eat the dinner first while he take care of the boy and I will come take over when I'm done if he's still not asleep. True enough, when I'm done with the dinner, the boy still doesn't wanna sleep and keep fussing. I took over and tried all ways and means to calm the boy down but it didn't help and he started to wail loudly as if I've tortured him. Upon hearing his cries, Hubby Goh rushed to the room, wanting to carry and rock the boy in his arms, but I refused as I didn't want Baby Garreth to associate his bedtime to "someone" will carry and rock him in his arms till he fall asleep. I perservered on, putting up with his loud and clear cries, refusing to walk around in the room, rocking him to sleep. I alternate putting him in the playpen patting him to sleep and carry him in my arms, sitting on my bed and pat him on the butt, but he was still dissatisfied and keep on crying non-stop. Many a times, Hubby Goh got heart-broken hearing his cries and came creeping in to the room to his rescue but I just refused to give in. I know it's cruel, but I don't wish the baby to develop the bad habit to only able to sleep with someone rocking him. It's quite strenuous now to carry and pat him at the same time (he's hitting 6kg soon!), and it's gonna be worst as he grows. What's gonna happen when my Mum takes over the role to look after him? I would not want her to carry him every night, it's far too shiong for her...

Anyway, I lost the fight eventually cos' I succumbed to his cries Daddy took over. Magically, with the loving cradle of the Daddy and his humming of Lullaby, he soon fell asleep in his arms within 10mins and is now sleeping soundly in his playpen. *Faint* I seriously have no clue as to how to alter this bad habit of his. Mum said this is just a passing phase and everything will be stabilised when he turns 4th month. Gosh...4th month?? He only turned 7 weeks yesterday...means another 2 more months to go?? I'm not sure if my patience can last that long...aye!

And I think I just got my retribution for being so cruel. Was trying to open the bottle of ampoule to apply my face after a shower but the stupid glass cap suddenly broke and cut my fingers. The right thumb has got 2 deep cuts and bled profusely while the index finger has a slight cut. Now the fingers are bandaged and I dunno if I can handle the boy alone tomorrow cos' mum's not able to come...

Sigh..talk about bring cruel to the little boy...