Reality Hurts

Somehow last week was rather unproductive. Minus the 1 day AL and 1.5 days' of MC, I've only worked for like 2.5 days officially last week?

Did bring my lappy home to do finish some backlog work over the weekend, but the inner me was protesting furiously cos' I really need more rest to recover from the India virus. Haha..what a lamer. I think I was juz being plain lazy.

So there I was, down at the gynae with the hubby finally on Sat noon. The appointment was set 12.20pm but my turn was called only an hour later. I was browsing the numerous baby photos on the walls of his clinics, so many congratulatory and thank-you cards with chubby and cutey baby photos attached to them. Suddenly, I felt so envious of these mummies and daddies and really hope that I can join their club soon. The maternity instinct juz started to kick in like that without any warning, and I was crossing my fingers and toes hard that I am really fertile after the gynae's diagnosis.

And there we had a short casual chat with the gynae before I was shown to the bed and do my ultrascan of my uterus. There was some discomfort as he shoved up this cold metal rode up my vaginal and began to tell me what is what inside me. I saw my left and right ovaries, I saw my eggs sitting comfortably in my ovaries, and I saw my womb.

Verdict?

Well, everything seems normal, my cervix looks "good", but there is a patch of fibroid outside the wall of the womb. He said it is benign and the fibroid will not affect my chances of getting pregnant as long as it doesn't grow inwards to the womb area where the placenta is going to be held. They call this area "garden", and the outside area as "rocks and stones". So my fibroid grew at the "rocks and stones" area, if it is inside the garden, I'm doomed.

Sigh, so depressing! To know that you don't have a perfect womb inside you.

Yes, though he said that I'm fine, but there's this possiblity that the Fibroid will grow bigger in size and it is beyond any control that it can be subdued. He encouraged us to have babies as early as possible to avoid any possible complications in the future (lucky we want to see him in time!). Cos' to remove fibroids means that future pregnancies will be put at risk due to the instability of the womb after the surgery.

All thanks to my mummy lor. I've discovered that I have inherited quite a number of her genes till date when my sis didn't even get to share some load from me.

1. Her white hair genes
2. Her boobs (read: B cup, not C or D ok?!)
3. High blood pressure (though not relatively high, but juz monitoring my diet to avoid being in her shoes)
4. FIBROIDS!!!

And it's so amazing. I took a glimpse of the ultrascan result I did last year and realised that I had a good womb, no sight of fibroids. Just a difference of one year and this stupid irritating muscle fibre starts to grow.

I is worried...so worried..

Not easy to be a woman lor..

I want to be man in my next life..

BLEH.